Philosopher Speaking

Hello there my fellow people! My name is Confucius although the name that was given to me at birth was Kǒngzǐ or K'ung-tzu. I was born in 551 B.C.E. which unfortunately was in the “Era of Warring States”. You see, because of the “Era of Warring States”, my family became very poor. Luckily, since I was a male, I got to go to school and become educated! I first worked as a tax worker but later became a great teacher. I taught many people how always doing your duty, respecting your family and elders, and giving up your worldly desires would help you in life. I taught based on five major relationships which were: parent to child, husband and child, sibling to sibling, emperor to subject, and friend to friend. I was the one who spoke up to rulers to say that in order to be a ruler they had to be highly educated and they had to be responsible. Unfortunately, they did not like my ideas so they got very angry with me. Anyways, I grew up teaching and helping people through life. My philosophy was always, “Everything has beauty, but not all people see it.” So that is how I started my own philosophy! A wonderful story full of life lessons, right?

Han Fei:
Look at all of these poor, lazy peasants! All they do is sit around and slack off all day long and I cannot stand it! We need some laws around here to keep people busy and occupied. But, why should I teach and help you? All you things are nothing but lazy, unusable worms! I know! If you don’t obey what I say and don’t follow my laws, you shall face hard consequences such as the detaching of your toenails and fingernails, broken ligaments, and even broken bones! No! I have a better idea! If you do something terrible, it could be punishable by death! Yes, we will be having a lot of fun once I get these laws enforced! Muahahahaha!!! Now all of you creatures represented by humans will understand your place in line. You are here to serve me and do whatever I say! I have power over all of you worms! So say goodbye to everything you have ever loved because there is a new ruler in town!

Lao Tzu:
Ahhhh! A nice, peaceful, relaxing day! What about Confucianism and changing everything about this beautiful day you say? Confucius Shmoofus! Who cares about changing the way life is? I say just sit back and enjoy the show! Let nature take its own route. I mean, let’s lay down in a meadow where the grasses are as tall as you are and where we can relax and look at the clouds. Besides, life was made to take shape on its own. Why should we go messing with the creations of the world? Besides, I don’t know about you, but I would much rather relax rather than run around, get sweaty, and end up not accomplishing my goal of changing the world after everything I went through! So, isn’t it great to be Taoist? You don’t have to do all that worthless work like you do in Confucianism and you do not have to die for not obeying any laws like you do in Legalism. Daoism is the perfect solution to everyone’s problems! Come join us now and you could have the best day every day!