Hey bro, my name is Lao Tzu. I’m a very relaxed type of guy who doesn’t want to interrupt the flow of the universe. Some guys just want to grab their chopsticks and eat all day, but I have a different kind of hobby: just lying in a nice cool meadow clearing my mind, watching the sky, and watching the world develop. I mean if people just ate natural foods, and just left the world the way it is then everything would be perfectly fine.

Oh Mi Hao my name is Confucius and I was just on my way to fulfill my duty in life. What’s that, you ask? Oh it has to do with my philosophy in life; that every person was made to do one specific thing in life. Well I would love to talk more but, I need to fulfill my duty. How about some tea at that new place by the emperor’s palace: Noodles and Tea. OK, see you later.

Come here you useless little rug rat, I want to tell you something your puny little brain probably can’t remember. I want to tell you how you should live your life. Oh yeah and my name is Han Fei Zi. What’s that? Yes I do have the audacity to tell you how to live your life. You should respect all authority higher than you and if you don’t then you should be dealt extreme punishment or death.